This article by Matthew Jacobson is truly precious! He brings out
some very good points and is truly inspiring and thought provoking. I
hope it will be a blessing, maybe to some parents seeking to raise godly
sons or to young men that are seeking to become godly men. For all of
us...it's food for thought. :-)
Dear Son,
It
is a great honor and privilege to be able to write this letter to you.
I’m blessed to be your dad. Son, you are becoming a man. What follows
comes from a heart that truly wants the very best for you in this life
and, more importantly, the next.
THE NEXT LIFE
The
day of your death is already marked. Unknown to us, God has decided how
long we will live. You may live a “natural” life of about 70 or 80
years, or you may be killed by a drunk driver moments after reading this
letter. You simply don’t know when you will be required to give an account of yourself to God.
But you most certainly will. The Bible says, “ . . . it is appointed
for a man to die once and after that, the judgement:” Hebrews 9:27
There
is a man spoken of in the New Testament who went about his happy life,
building bigger and bigger barns to hold all his posessions. Just when
he was really enjoying his self-absorbed life, he heard the words (from
God), “You fool! Tonight your soul is required of you.” Luke 12:20
Long
before you came to the threshold of manhood, the world was busy trying
to press you into its mold – to conform you to its values – to make you
think in a worldly manner. But we are Christian men, followers of
Christ. The Bible says, “Be not conformed to the world.” Romans 12:2.
That means we are not to think like, or act according to the values of,
this world. As a man making his way in the world, you must wrestle with
this if you are to walk worthy of the name ‘Christian’ and
remember, your appointment with God is already set.
THIS LIFE
Whether
you like it or not, you are in the process of establishing your
reputation. Welcome to manhood. What kind of man will you be? That’s
something you choose every day. Anyone can have a “moment” when they
seem to others to have good character only to have the next decision
remove that good will. Consistency over time is the only way to reveal
your true character to others. You are building who you are every day. You look after your character and God will look after your reputation.
CHOICES
As
a young man your age, I had a poor understanding of how the choices I
made would impact my future. It is as true today as it ever was – what
you choose today will affect tomorrow. If you tune your ear carefully to
the important things of life, you will have a growing sense that the
substance of life is little more than a combination of two things: 1)
Choices you make each day and, 2) Your response to events, both positive
and negative) and circumstances in your life that you didn’t cause.
I’ll
never forget an old poster of John Wayne, hanging on the wall of some
office I had walked through many years ago. There’s only one John Wayne.
But the caption below his photograph is what really stuck in my mind: Life’s Tough . . . but, It’s Tougher if You’re Stupid.
Which is to say, if you make a habit of wrong choices, you are in for a
tough life. The choices you make today are making your future.
FRIENDS
You have a winsome way about you, son. You can get along with just about anybody. That is a real gift. And, you
are a real gift – a truly worthy person. While you, as Christian young
man, are commanded by Christ to be kind to people, there are many who
are not worthy of your friendship – not worthy of your trust.
The
Bible makes it clear that, “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1
Corinthians 5:33. You will be known by the company you keep. People will
make a judgment about the quality of your mettle (your worth as a
person) by the quality of those you have chosen to count among your
friends.
Test
those with whom you would spend time by this standard: Are they the
kind of people who will challenge me to be a better person? Will these guys challenge me to be more like Christ?
One
of these days you are going to happen across a stream that is flowing
crystal clear and then, down stream, it will be met by another muddy
stream flowing into the channel. The clean stream will neverclean up the dirty stream
– not far from where they join, both streams are muddy. So it is with
life. Choose friends of clean character, friends worthy of you.
Be
polite to everyone but give your friendship only to those of sound
character. Those of poor character, while needing your guidance, are not
worthy of your friendship.
YOUR FUTURE WIFE
You
are some woman’s dream-come-true, Son. Right now, your wife is
somewhere in the world. Don’t you wonder how she’s spending her time? Do
you think she’s wondering how you are spending yours? How would you
feel right now if you could look through a window at your future wife
and see her without her seeing you? What kind of behavior do you expect
from her? What if her parents were away and she had a boyfriend over?
And they had their hands all over each other and he was kissing her?
Wait a minute, that’s your wife! What’s he doing with your future wife? I hope you’d want to thrash him for what he is stealing from you.
Why
was your wife giving herself, a little at a time, to other guys? Does
it make you crazy to think that some slob is even near her trying to put
his slimy lips on her beautiful mouth? If you want to marry a girl who
hasn’t given herself to every jerk that chased her; if you want a girl
who has saved herself for the man of her dreams (you); if you want a
girl who has honored Christ with her life and body and mind – YOU OWE HER THE SAME!
You
will never be sorry for waiting for your wife. The world’s (and most of
the Church’s) thinking says, “Hey, date around, get to know people.”
Not so for the follower of Christ. Could you marry various people and
have a great marriage? Sure. But, God knows exactly who you will marry. Don’t give one bit of your self to some person you won’t marry; not physically or emotionally.
Don’t get entangled in a relationship, even if it isn’t physical, with
someone who isn’t your future wife. Only the girl of your dreams
deserves to know you intimately and to know the secrets of your heart.
Start
your romance long before you even meet her. Any fool can run from one
relationship to the next but, it takes a real lover to keep one woman
satisfied for life. You will never regret being completely faithful to your wife before you meet and marry her.
ADVERSITY
Sooner
or later, life deals everyone a tough hand. When this happens, you have
a choice to make: Fold or press ahead knowing that “All things work
together for good, to them that love God…” Romans 8:28
Many
fall into the trap of thinking that their circumstances are so much
worse than anyone else’s. This isn’t true. You can always find someone
who has it worse. Some people focus on the problem until they are
completely consumed and destroyed by it. This is not what a man does. A man braces and steps into the wind of adversity, knowing that God has declared in the Bible that He will always, be with him. Hebrews 13:5
Adversity
is going to come – that I can guarantee you – but in one sense, it
doesn’t matter. How you respond to it is what matters. Embrace your
trials and purpose in your heart to honor God through them, regardless
of what happens, and He will honor you for your faithfulness, in His
way.
WORK
Purpose
in your heart to be a diligent, hard worker. You know me well enough to
know I can’t abide the presence of a young man on the job site who
doesn’t know how to work hard – doesn’t know how to sweat. Of course,
when he’s young, it’s not his fault. He wasn’t taught to work hard. But,
you were! A man of character works hard. A lazy man is a
disgrace – to his God, his wife, his kids, and to himself. Tell yourself
every morning when you get out of bed, I am a man who works diligently and works hard.
TRUTH
In
every age, the Truth has been under assault. Our Times are no
different. Truth is often a casualty in the battle of ideas – a battle
that will rage until the End of Time. Good men cannot avoid this battle.
You, Son, cannot avoid this battle. We must take our place in the
public square, standing for what is good, right, and true. What you are
guaranteed in this battle are enemies. I like what Winston Churchill
said: You have enemies? Good! That means you stood for something. Son, don’t live your life trying to be everyone’s friend. Stand for the Truth.
There
are many things I could share with you but these are a few that will
touch almost every area of your life. Please know that I’m proud to call
you my son and pray that you will fulfill the purposes for which God
created you. If you do, you will have found the best this life has to
offer and an eternity that begins with the smile of God.
With much love and hope for your bright future,
Dad
P.S.
Only in the Scripture will you learn God’s expectations for you . . .
and yes, He does have them. Read your Bible every day. It will wash your
mind. Sin will keep you from the Bible and the Bible, read and applied,
will keep you from sin.
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